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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24760267">Though the Stars Walk Backward</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MauveCat/pseuds/MauveCat'>MauveCat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Family Snapshots [13]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Endless Summer (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Family Feels, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:27:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24760267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MauveCat/pseuds/MauveCat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>On the fifth anniversary of Taylor's loss, Diego and Estela watch the skies and plan for the future.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Family Snapshots [13]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Though the Stars Walk Backward</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Estela sat cross-legged on the beach and stared up at the night sky. As much as she loved her friends, there was a point in every party when things got boisterous and that point had definitely arrived. She'd enjoyed the first few hours but once the karaoke machine came out, she decided it was time to slip away for a while to collect her thoughts and recharge.</p><p>They'd all arrived on La Huerta late the previous afternoon. Diego had been waiting at the new airfield; after the usual hugs and jokes, they'd all unloaded the plane and made the half-mile hike to the small estate on the island's southern tip. They'd start their reunion here, then head to Elyys'tel in a few days to continue the party with their Vaanti friends.</p><p>The reunion started off quietly, as it always did. Some of them were more tired than others – Raj, for example, had just flown in from Prague. First his flight had been delayed; once he'd arrived in the States, there had been a problem with getting his dog through the airport screeners for his connecting flight and he'd only arrived in New Orleans with an hour to spare before joining the others on Jake's plane. So, after a quiet dinner – one that that they refused to let Raj prepare –and a bit of conversation, they all turned in for the night.</p><p>Early this morning, though, the party began with the sunrise. Once Raj declared himself appropriately rested he prepared a huge breakfast, which somehow blended into lunch. Then they all ended up on the beach, swimming and lounging under the sun shade they'd set up for Reggie. After a few hours of that, everyone slowly drifted back to the house for a barbecue which inevitably ended up being a raucous, joyous affair. It was always comforting for Estela to have her friends surrounding her. All the same, there always came a time where she had to go off by herself for a while.</p><p>Tomorrow... tomorrow was going to be hard. They planned to go to the site where the Celestial once stood, as they did every year. They were going to gather at sunset and talk about Taylor, as they did every year. And she was going to get through it. As she did every year.</p><p>The sand was still warm, even though the sun had gone down hours ago. She heard easy waves against the shore in front of her, and she heard whirring insects in the jungle behind her. Above her... a sliver of moon and stars, bright and beautiful and untouchable.</p><p>“Hey. I was wondering where you got off to.”</p><p>Estela looked around in surprise. “Diego! I didn't hear you come up.”</p><p>Diego stayed where he was, about six feet behind her. “Yeah, I got tired of everyone back in Elyys'tel teasing me for clomping around all the time so I guess I've gotten into the habit of walking like they do. It's not hard once you get the hang of it. It's all about proper toe placement. I've finally started to fulfill my childhood ambition of being a ninja.”</p><p>“I never noticed you clomping anywhere.”</p><p>“You don't have ears like a Vaanti. Is it okay if I join you?” He waited a few moments; when Estela didn't object, he sat down a few feet away. “Nice night, isn't it?”</p><p>Smiling slightly, Estela looked at him. “You suck at small talk.”</p><p>He grinned back. “I'm great at small talk. I minored in small talk. I came all the way out here to share my small talk with you and what do I get in return? Insults.”</p><p>Estela laughed out loud. “Is the party dying down yet?”</p><p>“Are you kidding? Reggie is the only one sleeping in there. Quinn and Zahra are teaching Grace some new drinking game – they're using ginger ale now, which is probably a good thing because Zahra and Quinn went through a pitcher of margaritas in less than an hour. I guess you left when Raj dragged out the karaoke machine. That was probably a smart move, especially after Craig roped Jake into doing a duet of 'Endless Love.' I'm swearing you to secrecy here, but that thing might meet a tragic accident before the next reunion. Aleister is accompanying them on the piano but I think he forgot the difference between major and minor keys about three martinis ago. You're not the only one who needed some fresh air.”</p><p>“I notice that you didn't mention what Sean and Michelle are up to.”</p><p>Diego hummed noncommittally. “Official story is, they're keeping an eye on Reggie. Unofficially?” He shrugged. “They're talking. I'm not going to pry... not until tomorrow, anyway.”</p><p>“Good plan. Is everything all right back in Elyys'tel? Varyyn usually joins you when we're all here.”</p><p>“Sure, everything is fine. He just had a meeting with some leaders from the outlying areas – there are a few things he wants to get sorted out.”</p><p>“So his experiment with democracy is working out, I assume.”</p><p>Diego nodded, unable to conceal his pride in his husband. “Better than I thought it would, actually. Before Varyyn, the local chiefs just did what the elyyshar ordered. They grumbled, but they did it. It took a year or so before they caught on that he was serious about getting their input before he made decisions that affected the whole island. I don't want to jinx it but it looks like everyone is happy with the arrangement.”</p><p>“Good.” Estela stretched out her legs and leaned back. “We haven't talked much since Christmas. Jake said you flew out to California for your birthday. How did it go?”</p><p>Shrugging, Diego rested his arms on his knees. “About the same as most of my visits. I saw a bunch of my cousins, Dad likes the car I bought him, Mom is pretty sure I'm in a cult... you know, the usual.”</p><p>“A <em>cult</em>?” Laughing, Estela exclaimed, “I love it! She probably thinks you're hanging out in airports handing out flyers to –” She trailed off when she saw Diego's face. “Wait, she actually believes that you're in a cult?”</p><p>“Well....” Diego stared at the ocean. “I suppose that's better than her thinking I'm in some kind of international crime ring. From her point of view, it's not totally off the mark. I've pretty much gone off the grid. My folks have stopped trying to find out where I live. They've stopped asking me, at any rate. I'm pulling in a fair amount of money from my books and articles, but they can't figure out where I'm spending it.”</p><p>“You're spending it on new cars for your father, for one thing.”</p><p>Diego laughed, but it wasn't a happy sound. “Yeah. We never once had a new car when I was a kid, so I wanted to do that for him. And I'm putting aside money in case... well, <em>when </em>they need long-term care because I won't be there for them. Even if one of my cousins steps in and takes care of the day-to-day stuff, I want to make sure they won't have to worry about money.” He sighed. “I don't know if our visits are harder for me or for them. Mom kept dropping hints about all the family weddings that I've missed, and trying to figure out if I'm seeing someone. I think they can't stop themselves from hoping that maybe I'm not gay anymore, just because I don't talk about anything personal with them. But then... then they realize that I don't talk about <em>anything</em> personal, and that's hard on them.”</p><p>Scooting a little closer, Estela said, “But that isn't your fault!”</p><p>“Except that it kind of is, at least as far as it's anyone's fault. I made my choice, and it was the best choice I could have made. But there's no way it doesn't hurt them. Even though I'll never give up my marriage to Varyyn and the life I've made here, that doesn't mean I don't see how hurt and confused my parents are.”</p><p>Estela nodded slowly. She understood the pain of keeping secrets, even the necessary ones. She'd been luckier than Diego in one way, at least. When eleven-year-old Estela hesitantly started dropping hints that she wasn't necessarily interested in boys, her mother had reacted with an brief expression of surprise, followed by immediate acceptance. She looked over at her friend. He'd been so nervous five years ago, so clearly uncomfortable in his skin and in the world. Over the years, she'd seen his anxieties fade away in favor of a calm, centered demeanor. “You're really happy here, aren't you?”</p><p>“Happier than I've ever been anywhere,” he replied without hesitation. “Sure, there are things I miss. I'd probably arm-wrestle a seagull over an abandoned french fry, for example.” More seriously, he went on. “I miss hanging out with you guys. I'd like to see all of you more than a few times a year. And... I really do miss my parents. But even if all of this had never happened, even if I was just living a boring normal life... I'd still have to choose between living a lie in order to make them feel comfortable, or telling a truth they couldn't accept. One way or another, I'd have to pay a price. This is the price I'm paying.”</p><p>“I suppose I understand.” And she did; after all, Estela would have given up anything to have Taylor with her. “There really isn't any way to tell your parents about Varyyn, is there?”</p><p>“Sure there is. I could just fly them down here and say, 'This is where I live. My neighbors are a species of evolutionary off-shoots of homo sapiens who are twice as strong as humans. I'm married to their leader. He's blue.' My parents would look at each other, look at me, and say, '<em>Mijo</em>, what do you mean... <em>he</em>?' I guarantee that they wouldn't hear anything else. It's not exactly a recipe for success. Anyway. I'm gonna change the subject now. What's going on with you?”</p><p>“Very subtle.” But Estela went along with it. “I just got back from New York. Rourke International – you've heard that we're changing the name from Rourke Industries, right?” When Diego nodded, she continued. “We're starting up a new pilot program with a few international universities. We want to provide grants to researchers looking into environmental technology. One of the first programs involves a way to monitor endangered species without interfering with them, along with providing jobs in the surrounding areas to decrease poaching. I'm spearheading the project in Central and South America.”</p><p>“Look at you – from revolutionary to eco-warrior,” Diego said fondly. “Do you have any idea how proud I am of you?”</p><p>She laughed. “It's been an adjustment. But... I suppose it's good to do something that matters. I want to leave some kind of – ” Estela jumped at a sudden shrieking cry from the treeline behind them. “What the <em>hell</em>?”</p><p>Diego glanced at the jungle. “Don't worry, just a rawxil. It's not any more endangered than anything else on La Huerta, so don't worry about protecting them. They hunt at night. They're really pretty – they have bright red and orange feathers, though, so it's weird that they're nocturnal. Varyyn's crown is made out of rawxil feathers. They usually go for small game so we're way too big for it to bother us. I should tell Raj to keep Buddy close, though.”</p><p>“I don't think you need to worry about that – before you got up this morning, T'kal showed up to say hi to everyone. Buddy got one whiff of him and she hid under a bed for two hours. She's been sticking close to Raj every since.”</p><p>“Aw, poor puppy. I left my phone back in Elyys'tel so when we get home, I'll have to show you the latest pictures of the little sabertooths – they're half-grown now.”</p><p>“Did they ever get names?”</p><p>“Yeah. The girl is Virrash – she seems to be the most social one and she tags along with T'Kal a lot, so you might see her in person. Her brothers almost always hang out with their pack. The orange boy is Hwall, and the darker boy with the big fangs is Nibbler.”</p><p>“Ah. They let you name one, I see.”</p><p>Grinning, Diego said, “Just one of the perks of being the elyyshar's husband.”</p><p>“Mmm.” They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes. They came much more rarely than before, but Estela still had moments when it hurt to be around Diego and Varyyn – around anyone in love, to be honest. She didn't miss Taylor any less, all these years later; that was a grief that would never go away. The flashes of bitterness and jealousy that had shamed her so much had finally receded, though, leaving room in her heart to be grateful that her friends, at least, had found love. If a little pain was the price she had to pay to be around the people she loved... well, wounds always left a little pain in their wake. It was just another scar she had to bear. “Look.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She pointed up and, somehow, she knew that Diego saw the same falling star she did.</p><p>“Yeah,” he breathed. “I've been seeing... kind of a lot of those lately.”</p><p>“Really?” Estela looked at him curiously, feeling a whisper of... excitement? Dread? “You too?”</p><p>As if speaking to himself, he said, “Everyone thinks falling stars are rare. They aren't. They aren't even stars. There's all kinds of stuff up there – asteroids, meteors, junk that falls off satellites. If you sit and stare at the whole sky all night you'll probably see something come down every ten minutes or so.”</p><p>“Oh.” Estela tried to ignore the wave of disappointment that ran through her. Diego was right, of course. Falling stars didn't really grant wishes. She should have known better than to believe in signs or omens or messages from the great beyond.</p><p>“Even so, it's kinda weird.” Diego kept his eyes on the dark heavens above. “After all, who sits and stares at the whole sky all night?”</p><p>“Besides fools like us, you mean?”</p><p>He laughed a little. “Besides fools like us. Isn't that why people think falling stars are rare? You have to be looking up at the exact right second, and you have to be looking at the exact right part of –” he waved at the sky. “Of all that. When you think about it that way... yeah. It <em>is </em><span>pretty rare to see falling stars all the time.” He sighed, and finally looked at Estela. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she had the impression that he'd just come to a decision. “How many times have you seen it?”</span></p><p>Estela shivered in spite of the warm breeze. “Almost every... wait. You said 'it,' not 'them.' You don't think...?”</p><p>“<span>I don't know. I don't </span><em>know,</em><span> okay? It's just that lately, a few things have started coming together. For one thing, the falling stars. For another, I heard Grace and Raj talking during supper yesterday. According to IRIS, there's been something weird going on with the Earth's magnetic field for the past year or so. I'm not gonna pretend that I could follow everything they were saying but if I remember my Science 101 class, the magnetic field is what keeps radiation from getting through our atmosphere. If it's been going up and down, getting stronger and weaker – well, I don't think that would have any affect on how much stuff falls to Earth, but who knows?”</span></p><p>“Diego... what are you getting at?”</p><p>“I wish I knew.”</p><p>“No. You don't get to drop that on me and then just say you don't know what you mean! Even if you don't know, what do you <em>think</em> it means?”</p><p>Running a hand through his hair, Diego said, “Look, I only signed up for the bare minimum of science classes I needed in order to graduate. It's not my strong point, so maybe I'm entirely misunderstanding how it works. Maybe I'm worrying over nothing... and maybe I'm getting my hopes up over nothing.” Diego lowered his voice, even though Estela knew there was no one listening in. “There's no reason to suppose the magnetic fields only work in one direction. Yeah, they keep out radiation from outer space – if you hadn't wasted your youth learning to be a war machine and bothered to read a comic now and then, you'd know all about cosmic rays – but, well, what are they keeping in? Maybe... maybe the Earth is sending out some kind of radiation of its own. And if the fields are weakening here and there, maybe some of that is leaking through.” He looked at Estela, and she could see the warring pain and hope in his eyes. “And... maybe something out there is listening and trying to get back through.”</p><p>Estela closed her eyes. “Trying to get back home.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Diego whispered.</p><p>“Do you think it's Vaanu or – or Taylor?” Estela couldn't help choking a little when she said her wife's name.</p><p>Diego made a guttural, frustrated noise deep in his throat. “That's the question, isn't it? She was Vaanu's missing piece – its child, its heart, its soul, its... whatever. I guess whenever I thought about it, I assumed that she was somehow absorbed completely into Vaanu. But... what if there are parts of Vaanu that are still entirely Taylor? Do you think there's any way she's still herself, any way she still remembers us?”</p><p>Estela tried to control her ragged breathing. Taylor. She'd finally started to reconcile herself to her loss; she'd accepted that her wife, her love, was forever out of her reach. And now.... “<em>Five years</em>. For five years, I have mourned and grieved and tried to put myself together. I've gotten used to being without her, I've accepted that she will never, <em>can </em>never return. And you expect me to believe that I – I'm somehow calling her back?”</p><p>“If anyone could, it would be you,” Diego said softly. “There's... something else, though.” He glanced at her, then turned his gaze back to the dark ocean. “It's the crystals. According to Varyyn, the Vaanti found them every now and then, either buried in the sand or in a cave or... well, all over the island, really. He used to have a necklace set with one, but I don't think you met him before it got broken. But his mother had one too – do you remember what the crystals looked like?” He waited for Estela's reluctant nod before going on. “We assumed that they all disappeared from La Huerta along with Taylor. I know that Grace and Aleister and Raj spent the first few months tossing ideas back and forth, and they finally settled on the notion that Vaanu somehow pulled all of the crystal fragments together to reconstitute itself. And that makes sense, except for one thing. Vaanu wasn't – well, with everything going on, I didn't have time to get a really close look but it didn't seem to be solid, at least not the way we understand it. I think there's a possibility that it only needed to pull up all the crystals in a certain radius to have enough power to escape from Earth. After all, we saw how powerful the Island's Heart was, and that was just one chunk.”</p><p>“No.” Estela got up and began pacing. “No,” she repeated dully... not because she didn't believe Diego, not because she didn't want to believe. She said it because wasn't ready to hope. “Are you telling me that there still might be crystals left on La Huerta?”</p><p>Diego took a deep breath. He stood and walked to Estela's side, his hands in his pockets. Once again, he kept his eyes on the ocean. “A few weeks ago, Varyyn and I went over to Colonnade Cove. Surfing season, you know? He was out on the waves and I was on the beach talking to people. There was a commotion over at Gurgi's booth so I went to check it out – I figured he was trying to screw someone over. And he was, but that's not the point. He had something on his counter. He gave me a long story about where it came from but the upshot is, someone stumbled on it near Karaax'tel. Remember that hurricane a few years ago? A bunch of people took shelter in the caves on the east side of La Huerta and apparently someone found this; it's been traded around and it finally made its way to Gurgi.” He took something out of his pocket – it was a square of soft blue fabric. His hands trembling, he unfolded it.</p><p>Almost unwillingly, Estela looked down. There, nestled in the cloth, were two small objects. One was a translucent violet, barely as long as her little finger; the other was a rough oval that shimmered between green and yellow. “No,” she breathed.</p><p>Diego nodded. “Gurgi had the purple one. Varyyn and I... um, confiscated it. We went down and checked out the cave system near Karaax'tel. We didn't find anything just laying around so we went deeper inside – we don't need to discuss how much I <em>love</em> caves. And bats. Have you <em>seen </em>the bats they have around here? They're the size of... anyway. We found this green one after about an hour. There were a few others further back, but they were stuck in the stone and we didn't want to risk digging them out.”</p><p>Her hand shaking, Estela reached out. She brushed a finger against the violet crystal and a shock – warm, tingling, stopping just short of being painful – traveled through her and she yanked her hand away. She stared at Diego, her mouth closing and opening helplessly.</p><p>“Yeah. They did that to me too,” Diego murmured. “Varyyn didn't feel anything when he touched them, though. I'm still trying to figure that out.” He folded the cloth carefully around the crystals; then, after a moment's thought, he took Estela's hand and pressed the small bundle into her palm. “Here. You hold on to these.”</p><p>Estela blinked away tears as her fingers closed around the crystals. Was it wishful thinking, or could she really feel them, even through the cloth, thrumming in time with her heartbeat? “Do... do you think these are strong enough to – to call Taylor?”</p><p>“Those two alone? Probably not. If we had more of these gathered together... I don't know. Maybe? We saw at least a half dozen crystals in that one cave and if we can figure out how to search the whole island, there are probably others.”</p><p>“Others. The others... do they know?”</p><p>Shaking his head, Diego said, “Varyyn knows, of course, but no one else. That's why he called the meeting in Elyys'tel – he's not going to tell the Vaanti the reason why yet, but he wants to make sure no one has a problem if we look for more crystals. I wanted to show these to you before we tell the other Catalysts. I wasn't even sure I was going to tell you about them tonight, but once I figured out that you were seeing the same thing up there that I was... well, I guess I figure that whatever we do next, it has to be your call.”</p><p>Tightening her fist around the crystals, Estela closed her eyes. It had been so many years since the last time she prayed. Prayer hadn't brought her mother back, hadn't killed Rourke, hadn't kept Taylor with her. But now... now, she prayed.</p><p>Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at Diego. “First thing tomorrow, we're telling the family.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
 trust your heart
</p><p>
  if the seas catch fire
</p><p>
  (and live by love
</p><p>
  though the stars walk backward)
</p><p>
  honour the past
</p><p>
  but welcome the future
</p><p>
  (and dance your death
</p><p>
  away at the wedding)
</p><p>
  <em>ee cummings, “dive for dreams”</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, here we are.</p><p>I've got the sequel all outlined and sketched out. There are a lot of moving parts, so I'm going to have to get a rough draft completed before I start fine-tuning and posting. It might take some time, so stay tuned...</p></blockquote></div></div>
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